Ridiculously Long Update Gaps

Hi Blog, sorry I've neglected you for a ridiculous amount of time. Eliza and I are seeing the Avatar 3D Imax Experience today, so there's bound to be something to report back on.

More updates later. Later today or much later in my life, I cannot specify.

AMC Humanizes an Automatic Transaction

Hey Clay! Thanks for being here, man. You know, I didn't know how I was going to get through that transaction without you. There are so many hard questions like, "which movie would you like to see?" and "which time?" But now that you're here to reassure me that all my hard efforts were successful and appreciated, I think I'm going to be okay. Thanks to you, I WILL go watch that movie. What's that, Clay? You want to play catch? Well, that's what that silly hand position of yours tells me. Wait a minute. We can't play catch. I think...I think you're a machine, Clay. WHAT IS THIS DECEPTION? You're not human at all! I thought we had something going here. And you mean to say that I completed this entire movie ticket transaction by myself? Of course you aren't saying that. You aren't saying anything, you're not real. You're just a picture of a boy with a mutarded hand, telling me to have a nice day. Well... thank you, I think I will.

That's ridiculous...LY CUTE!

I met these puppies about a month ago in Sonora. That would make them 10 weeks old now...and probably just as adorable.

Celine DeRidiculon. . .Shamone!

Let's take a vote. Are we happy or sad that the following exists?



Shamone!

note: I came across this video a few months ago, so it is indeed older than recent events that would render it in even poorer taste.

Door Standers are ridiculous

Test: are you ridiculous?

Have you ever realized you forgot something while walking down the street? Or maybe you and a friend couldn't decide where to eat lunch. In either case, you stopped walking for a moment of reflection. Did you then stop in a doorway, on the left side of an elevator, or in the middle of a busy street?

Did you stand there while people tried and failed to get around you and coughed passive-aggressively? Might you even have said, "whoa, what's his problem?" when a harried-looking UPS delivery person or lady with babies shoved by you?

If you answered "yes" to two or more of the above questions, YOU, my friend, ARE RIDICULOUS.

The Entire Twilight Empire

This is sure to be a multi-post topic.

Fact: I began to read Twilight after it exploded and was admittedly more intrigued than I anticipated. The writing was bad and Stephanie Meyer decides to fawn on one new word every couple of pages and thinks this is an excuse for not using more advanced sentence structures and-oh, I don't know- good descriptions of actually interesting events. Wrong, but even so, it's like candy because who doesn't want to have their boring life spiced up by a clan of sexy, harmless vampires. (No? Oh well...)

Fact: Once I got to page 80 or so, I decided to watch the movie instead. OH BOY. I will restrain myself from a detailed description of the fantastic cinematography, writing, and acting for the sake of a digestible length post. Needless to say, those three aspects of this movie are breathtaking...ly bad. So bad that Eliza and I decided to make a (really good) drinking game to the movie which we tested with diet coke (contact us for the rules).

I admit that even though Twilight is the absolute definition of ridiculousness, I am casually interested in how the rest of the saga pans out. Maybe I'll read New Moon. Or wait for the movie. I am excited to see how it follows up its brilliant predecessor, but NOT as excited as this lady who wins the award for number one ridiculous Twilight fanatic:



In short, Twilight is like one big ball of ridiculous that keeps accumulating layers and is now out of control. Beware, it may roll after you and get you before you even know it's too late.

The word "wull" is ridiculous.

People say "wull" when they think they're saying "well," but due to a variety circumstances are rendered unable to speak the word "well." These circumstances always without exception involve the effort of attempting to dig one's self out of a hole that is far too deep to ever successfully extricate one's self.

Sample use:
GIRLFRIEND: I found this cheap hair extension that is an entirely different color and much less classy than my hair extensions in your car. Why was it there?
SKEEZY CHEATING BOYFRIEND: Wull...

The word "wull" is absolutely never, under any circumstances, followed by a cogent point or a legitimate argument. When you say "wull," you most definitely have no defense and no point, and are merely participating in a token effort to not give up completely.

A situation that would never, ever happen:
EMPLOYER: Why are my office keys in a different place than they were yesterday?
EMPLOYEE: Wull, because I was cleaning your file cabinet to make it more effective!

A far more likely situation that has happened countless times:
EMPLOYER: Why do my records show countless Tiffany's purchases on your company credit card?
EMPLOYEE: Wull, I was...looking for a sock puppet...and I couldn't find the right kind...and I went to the bathroom...and my favorite magazine was in there.

As noted in the above sample use, "wull" is often followed by a chain of thoughts that have no clear connection to the questions asked by the accusing party. Those who use "wull" are not looking to answer a question logically and head-on. They will dance circles around the subject, but without any concise steps or discernable style. The circles they dance will be less of the Ballerina variety and more of the Drunk and Embarrassing Aunt Karen at the Family Picnic variety.

In conclusion, the use of the word "wull" is RIDICULOUS.

First Entry

Today Eliza and I had a bril idea: to point out to the rest of the world the things we encounter in our daily lives. But not just ordinary things, you guessed it; ridiculous things. To start our blog off right (aka ridiculoso #1), you may have noticed that our web address is spelled "ridikalous" as in da back o' yo head. This was not to be clever, but simply because our obvious choice was taken by a man named Tyler who has posted NO entries since June 2004. Thanks, Tyler. Now THAT'S ridiculous.

Check out his uninteresting blog here.

That's Ridikalous

How absurd.